HolyTrance

2012-01-03T00:38:00.007+05:30

The year that was...
…of new promises and of positive beginnings
…of some unfulfilled dreams and of some harsh realities
…of broken hearts and of unwarranted wishes
…of new experiences and of old reunions
…of finding the child within and of simultaneously growing mature
…of novel teachings and of breaking fallacies
…of falling tears and of getting stronger
…of introspections and of finding answers from others
…of reinforcing old beliefs and of learning to unlearn
…of getting lost in the crowd and of discovering self in solitude
…of ignoring others and of getting ignored
…of cheerful songs and fancy moves, and of sad heartbroken tunes
…of getting drunk and losing myself, and then reflecting on it some more
…of losing friends and of gaining sanity
…of ‘hating it all’ and of achieving the wisdom of loving myself
…of weak moments and then coming out stronger
…of darkness and depression, and of gleam of sunshine
…of letting it go and of hopes for a happier tomorrow

Dedicated to everyone I met, left behind, and reunited with; to 2011 that went by!

2011-05-25T16:10:00.006+05:30

Hyderabad Talkies Part II

These moments...are these accidents, or were they written like these only? Were they decided already, somewhere, sometime, by someone? Or were they not decided, and all that is happening was unplanned, unthought of?

I meet the one's who are mine, and who are strangers..I like a few, and I dont like a few. I move ahead, and leave some behind. Relations have been identified, or atleast the mantra. This is my world and everything has a bit of me..a little more, a little less.

The journey is long and destination unclear. This life is a mirage; we experience, we learn, and we grow. Why do we break apart when we were never together?

2011-04-26T16:57:00.001+05:30

I don't like this Idea Naresh!

I know you had planned your future well. After becoming an engineer from an esteem college, you completed MBA in Marketing from your dream college. You were enjoying your job, and loved the fact that you had to work from Mumbai, where you have loads of friends to hang around with. You were a pakka Hyderabadi and I could see that in your nawaabi - ‘I-just-like-to-have-fun’ and ‘I-give-a-damn’ - attitude.
A week ago, your FB update said that you bought a car, which you were bringing to great use by exploring all the weekend getaways near Mumbai. I know you worshipped Sachin, and wished him birthday on FB last night. You have no idea how jealous I was when I saw your picture celebrating MI’s victory at Wankhade on Friday…I so really want to see God live in action myself. And yes, you loved Katrina as much as you did Rajani. You were instrumental in making ‘Sheila ki Jawaani’ such a major hit that it is now, by promoting it on your FB wall for days and months. And I can bet that everything I know about Idea 3G is via your wall.
Now how do I tell myself that everything will stop from today? One fine morning and you decide to leave everything behind? One trek and you are not interested in the worldly pleasures anymore? Just when people are accustomed to seeing you all over their walls, you settle down on leaving everything behind just like that, and slip under covers? Who will support me when I would want to win an argument against Prasoon? Who will comment on my weekend hungama pictures with all that enthusiasm? Who will call me to Mumbai to celebrate MI’s win in the IPL. I will no more have any Idea in my life. I will not know the latest updates about Rajani or Katrina through your newsletter-wall. Will I really not have any updates on my page from you?
I know we had never met in person, not even have we spoken on the phone, but we have been friends for long - as much as 6 years? You have been one of the most special online friends in my not-so-virtual world, and now your absence is bringing tears in my eyes. Life doesn’t come with a warranty card, and you are asking me to not take it for granted anymore.
All I want to know if life worth all this effort? Really? We run around all the time, through school, college, graduation, jobs, relationships, parents, friends, etc. etc, and what we get in the end is what we never want. You should know that you have lived a good life and your parents are proud of you. You shall be missed – terribly – by all your real and virtual friends, and all the people who have known you. May you rest in peace, now and always!

2011-01-30T21:20:00.006+05:30

Don't know why...

Shit! I thought I am strong
So overconfident, could never go wrong…
There’ll be a time, when I am forced to think
This controlled life could go out of sync…

I can never bring myself to ask if u r still there
I am not sure if u will be here…
Oh I don’t know what I feel
I would never know if it is the right thing to kneel….

I know I lost my chance
But does life give you another glance…
Do you think it’s the right thing to try
Or should I just say good bye…

I hate seeing myself regret
Trust me, it’s not easy to forget…
Living life on my own terms
Is it insane, I just need to confirm…

Would you ever understand
I probably need you to try again…
Hopefully, there is a future for us both
Together if we may take that oath… … …

2010-10-18T03:33:00.001+05:30

Words, words are all I have...

Space is less but I want to say more
Whatever is written is from the core
Let me be in, open your back door
Or let’s meet up at the sea shore
Two of us are better than four
How about a date seňor?

Sometimes, you can mean so much by saying just little!

2010-07-03T12:50:00.002+05:30

Haphazard!

Cut all the threads from the past
No longer that make sense to last
Look forward to a new sunrise
Will make me happy and wise

Now I seem to know this all
But still in the past I fall
The more I move, less I forget
All corners point at one edge

The rainbow I saw today
Like a smile on the clear blue sky
My lifes missing a few of those shades
Whom do I ask why

I run after a new beginning
But the shadows still follow
The race seems unending
Are the dues still pending

Wish I knew where am going
The boulevard I need to close in
I knw the horizon is sumwhr distant
But I can reach if you help me start

Let us make a life worth living
With no regrets or unsure dreams
Tomorrow is an upshot of our past
So why to cut the threads that don’t last!

2010-06-17T11:52:00.002+05:30

Lifes Fucked Up!

At the end of the day we realize that we are alone...damn alone in this entire freaking world. No family, no friends understand you...and why wud they...they cant read your mind or even understand your heart...your feelings are very personal and I am not sure if there is a term such as 'soul mate' or 'better half' even, who will empathize with what you are going through. This bloody lifes an ordeal and you know what, you gotta get through it alone. Stop depending on anyone for love, respect, or even sympathy - not your friends, not your relatives, not your neighbours, not your family. Start loving and respecting yourself - thats the gyan!

2010-02-13T00:45:00.006+05:30

Sisterly Bond?

When I hear people saying that they share an intimate and lovely relationship with their siblings, all I do is say "nice".

I do not share the same feelings as most sisters do so it doesn't really matter when people express their respect to the elder ones or love for the younger ones. Infact, when I see the feeling of mutual love and respect between two sisters in movies, I wonder if it is all staged and fictitious or does really holds some piece of truth...ummm, am sure it does. And afterall, not all relationships are meant to be "peaceful" and full of love.

I have a younger sister (not too young though)and all I remember about the time I have spent with her over the years is circled around fights, cribbings, taunts, and frustrations. We somehow have never been able to gel well; neither do we try. I am to be blamed mostly because I tend to boss around all the time, which she can't take. Can't help it, my nature. As a result, both of us have separate circle of friends and confidantes. We do care for each other, but its stemmed out from the fact that we have grown up together. Guess, we were never meant to be sisters, God just did a mistake.

*Disclaimer*
I was really angry wen I wrote this one...had a fight with my sis...in retrospect, i think our relationship isnt that bad...we still care for each other and do know that we will stand by the other wen needed...what else do I expect! I love my sis and so does she!

2010-01-18T13:24:00.001+05:30

I know what I need to do without ado to get myself out of this...

2010-01-18T13:05:00.002+05:30

Couldn't have put myself in better words...

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
...

2010-01-08T18:12:00.002+05:30

:-))

I am happy today. Randomly came across an old school mate's wedding pics...this guy was a year senior in school and has tied knots to a gal one year junior to me...both of them looked really happy with each other...I just felt so nice after looking at their smiling faces...I wonder why I look for happiness everywhere on earth when its just right beside me; all I need to do is to extend my hand and grab it.

Thanks FB!

2010-01-08T18:09:00.000+05:30

Happy Budday To You!

Heres the story of the little boy
Whose class was just down the street
He looked those intellectual sorts
Could you have termed him a geek?
He walked with an attitude
And confidence was his ‘middle’ name
The only things he aspired for
Were money, happiness, and fame…

Years went past by
And the seasons brought about a transition
What he is like now
I’ll bring to your attention
When life is in such short supplies
He has chosen the path of unprecedented volatility
To confront the fear and seek the honor
Is within the reach of his ability…

As he gears up
To color the fresh page on this threshold
He sees his wonderful 25 years in retrospect
With an innocent smile on hold
While thanking for the blessed life he’s lived until now
He looks forward to the next chapter
Let’s see it unfolds how…

He’s embarked on the search of what he truly wants in life
But this magnificent time comes with a price
The days are long and sleepless are the nights
The dreams sometimes are in for a pleasant surprise
His tales of bravery are yet to be told
And I am going to be a witness as they unfold…

Wishing him love, luck, and lots of respect
May he lives till the end of the millennium
And succeeds on every endeavor the country expects…

2009-12-23T16:14:00.004+05:30

Santa is around...

It’s been really really long since I have got a gift for Christmas and honestly I don’t even expect one…and today when a friend in office asked what I want for Christmas, I, for a while, didn’t know what to ask for.

My memories for ‘Christmas Presents’ date ages back when my sis n I were quite young. Papa used to get a lot of chocolates, toffees, britannia sponge cakes, jelly cubes, mango frooties, etc. for us on the Christmas Eve and keep them at our bed side when we had gone off to deep sleep. Both of us always knew that he was our Santa and we never had to hang red socks or decorate a Christmas tree to lure him to surprise us.
After the tradition continued for some years, we couldn’t wait till the morning to lay our hands on the goodies. One of the years, I remember, I couldn't sleep and half way through the night (till early morning hours) got up every half an hour to check if papa has placed the goodies or not. Obviously, he did, before the sun showed his face.

This was buried in my head long since and am thankful to this friend who brought back the cozy, sweet reminiscences back to the surface...

Merry Christmas to everyone! Hope all of you get a lot of gifts and "time" from your loved ones...

2009-11-17T14:49:00.003+05:30

What I Feel Now...

"It's only YOU I want to, hold onto and never let you go..."

2009-10-26T12:42:00.005+05:30

All 'Rattle n Hum' inside my head!

Quite confounding but it is the sadistic truth about life…when you least expect things, you just see them surfacing to life from the most barren of the lands. Expectations kill the excitement and why wouldn’t they; we are not being taught to be patient as humans. We have to anticipate a reward for every little thing we do…remember when you were promised a bicycle for getting a distinction in class 10? And who has seen this life…our future is all woven by our dreams and expectations from our loved ones around. Ever wondered if we can ever revolutionize the way we think and wait to discover what is in store for us.

I also fail to understand that why are we expected to behave in a meticulously conventional way to get our share of space in this society; why would be tagged as rebels if we try to break the shackles of this orthodox and narcissistic society. The society takes the most toll on the ones who follow its norms. Haven’t you seen the most humane and benevolent of the people suffering in this thankless world, as a rule?

We need to be reminded that at the end of the day, no one is responsible for our happiness, but we. And who is going to decide what is wrong or right for us…isn’t it all prejudged by all our own conscience ultimately? Whatever is right for me might just be the most awful thing for you. Who has the bloody authority to take a call on it – you, society, religion, your parents – who?

Guess, I need to take a break and get a drink!

2009-10-12T15:40:00.011+05:30

Lend credence to my experience :)

- If I wish to fly, I will; the only thing that can stop me is me!

- You meet all kinds of people, but the ones who have the same basic grain as u, become your friends.

- God loves you more than you think.

- Everything falls into place at the end of the day; everyday is an experience!

- Reading books can keep you off the stray thoughts that linger around aimlessly.

- When you don't feel like doing/saying something, don't do/say it; there is a mood and time for everything.

- People love us for what we are; we forget that if we change for them, they'll stop loving us.

- The only person who loves us more than anyone else in the world is our mom.

- Kids are the best thing God gave us. Love them; all of them!

- We have one life, make the most of it. I dont want to die of any regret...am working on this one!

- Our values and beliefs change with time and age. I have done so many things in life, which were 'not right' for me at some point of time.

- Accept yourself for what you are; don't be too tough on yourself, you too are a human.

- Don't give alibis to conceal your mistakes. Accept them with your head on the shoulders. Stand for your mistakes.

- Love as much as you can, fall for infactuations, have a lot of crushes. Even if you end up in a mess, you'll remember the exciting (good or bad) times through your life and as a bonus, tips on what 'not-to-do' with the next guy/gal.

- Get a taste of everything during this lifetime.

- Trust people around. Helps building relationships!

- Sometimes, saas-bahu soaps are fun; just don't watch them with your mom around...you won't be able to make fun of them.

- Give your 100% to every relationship. What goes around, definitely comes around!

- Build up your endurance power. Eat good food, exercise regularly, and think positive. 20 yrs down the line, you will regret not doing this.

- Everyone deserves a second chance the way you do. Forgive people. Forget your mistakes, not the lessons learned.

- Travel. Enrich yourself with your country's history. More than the bank balance, you'll cherish the times you spent taking a stroll on the countryside and trying to understand an alien language.

- Sing. Dance. No matter how bad you are at it. Use music to heal yourself, it will fill you with vigor.

- You have half chances, so does everybody else. Believe in yourself!

2009-10-01T11:13:00.003+05:30

A Filmy Coincidence

Nine years and a not-so-planned meeting...there he comes dressed in the most attractive and reverent uniform and am all eying on it. Yes, the uniform has always been one of my vulnerable spots and given a discerning advantage to the guys.

So he looks the same, the TDH bracket still applies and the extra carbs have also shredded off. He still can talk and knows how to get heard.

Here I am. All fun with the 'I wanna have fun and give a damn' attitude. Never thought that I can be so very annoyingly out of tune but it was entertaining. I asked Avi for a dance but the lazy bum refuses to move his ass; the military man was all shy and embarrassed. Never mind, the day ended!

Flashback

5th Sep: Teachers Day | The naughtiest and most intelligent of the sections gets a Chemistry teacher who is all enthu to teach the fundas of the periodic table, as if its his duty to ensure that none of us lose out on any of the questions on the chemical elements. But who is interested in listening to him; the gals are drooling over the temporary teacher and the guys are least bothered.

With the end of the crazy chemistry class, I am all crushed over the teacher. Now what to say of my networking power, within the spans of some days, the entire 11th and 12th science sections know about my crush. Some friends 'not hate' (becoz thats a very strong word), but dont like him so are all willing to fix me up with the better ones around. But aaah...who the hell is interested in the rest when the real replica of Madhavan is just there...btw, Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein had recently released.

As the next step, I get his phone no...guess the childish scrapbook helps sometimes and I find myself calling him up. Do I recall if he ever called up himself – don’t know, but how does that matter. The guitar over the phone was amazing and that’s how we come to know about the Casanova angle to the personality.

The scribbling day and look who is waiting to write on him first...on his shirt ofcourse…must have been some childish crap but all seems cute and funny in retrospect. The farewell day came and I am full on leching on him...uurrrghhh not the literal meaning, I was a kid then!
Lucky him, since he is my crush, deserved a title. 12th class left the school, some random phone calls and chit chats, and life moved on. Courtesy a fellow lecher (on yeah, a lot of women had an eye on him), I was updated with all the happening stuff in his life.

Today

"Your place or mine?" I hear and am like, “Is he the same guy who had a major attitude problem and was over-confident almost a decade back?” Yeah, the guy is living upto his reputation but am I not a bond too; I know how to handle such stuff...'yeh toh mere baay haath ka khel hai' types. But there you go...he is going beyond my cognitive level and has finally asked me out! All the convincing arguments make sense but what seems out of focus is the urgency to move ahead and speed with which things are wrapping up around.

The risks are minor (as of now), it’s a known face (9 yrs isn’t a short duration of time), he is honest about his romantic experiences (5 GFs and an equal amount of one-night flings is quite an expedition), and the fact that I need to start somewhere, so why not him :P...looks like a real monsoon bargain offer.

So with a chuckle, I repeat what seems to have become our slogan, "let’s see what happens"! :P

2009-06-29T15:27:00.000+05:30

My love conversations

p: hey sexy lady
get on the floor
waise profile pic me is foto ke badle tattooed pic lagana banta ahi
me: saath chal
p: this is the homely u
me: hahha
is this?
p: misleading!
me: homely kahan?
p: isnt it a kitchen?
me: abey nahi
p: then what?
me: disco theque hai
the DJ podium
p: oh....i saw new york yesterday achi thi :)
me: woh badi pic mein visible hai
maine bhi dkehi
p: hmm
me: john is sooooooo yummilicious
:D
p: liked it?
hahaha
yeah well he is now im kinda confused who is sexier
john abraham or farhan akhtar!
me: hehhe
sey toh john hi hai
farhan is multi talented
p: :)
me: main ab shahid aur john mein confused hoon
ki kisse shaadi akrun
:P
p: hahaha
puhleeeeeeease
shahid kapur is cute looking and all!
but sexy?
sorry no chance!
me: i knowww
he isnt sexy
hes extremely cute
but john is like ohhh la lala
p: heheh :D
me: achcha sun ... kuch batana tha
p: ?
bata
me: something imp
and keep it to urself
:)
p: bata na janman
tere intezar me baithe hai
me: heheh
haan
toh baat yeh hai ki
I love U
:D
ab ja
p: hahaha
ure soooooooooooooooo predictable gorgeous!
me: heheh
p: i was waiting for that to come
me: :P
i know
hahahha
p: apne liye pyar maine teri chat room wali
ankhon me dekh lia tha!
me: hahahha
u knw me so well
:P
ab bhaag honey
p: bye babes! loads of love
me: miss u so much
p: :)
me: me tooo...three...fourrr

P.S.: I love such chit chats. We both love each other but we love John and Shahid too; and we are ready to share them, if they don't mind :D.
BTW, 'p' is none other than madame Prachi and yes, we aren't two lesbos, even though our college was kinda famous for it. After all, LSR can also be expanded as 'Lesbian Society Rules' :P .

2009-05-19T17:23:00.000+05:30

Aankhen na kholun main, shayad sapna ho...!

Why am I living in the myth???

2009-05-13T18:34:00.000+05:30

The blogpost dedicated to me :D

http://hopes-prayers-and-dreams.blogspot.com/2009/03/asha-malik-drama-queen.html

And let me clarify...not everything written there is true...especially the "cooked up" love story never existed! Thats Pracs, by the way!

2009-05-11T20:52:00.000+05:30

P.S: Nothing (written below) makes sense...

Overdose of anything could be fatal...when u r high on life, be prepared for the lows...I can sense the darkness taking over some seconds from my life...I hope that one fine day, it doesnt decides to be the mantra of my life...but who knows, it cud be the bliss I am looking for...
Is life just about putting ur ass on fire to work crazy shifts to save ur job and getting the fixed pay at the end of the month? I hate sounding like a frustrated soul but the very fact that life is our impartial mother is strange...doesn't it shows all its colors to each one of us, today or tomorrow. I wonder how long would I be able to endure this? Am I doing it just for the heck of it...looks like the escapist movement is full on. Sometime I wish I could spend as much time with myself but I know that ain;t the solution...probably these symptoms are pointing towards a new thing in life...and I repeat here...I need a change...this monotonous routine is killing...

No direction and no compass to take along,
And way too many thoughts to influence the path,
The journey seems long and difficult,
But each day sets with the sun,
Seasons race with the heartbeat,
And here my life holds onto the ground,
No movement or fluctuation whatsoever...

I want freedom...freedom from life...from within...Its my life...I can do whatever I want to...watever the fruits be, am ready to reap them...

2009-04-20T02:02:00.000+05:30

Ramblings of my random mind...

- I have taken a decision...to move ahead in life...its become monotonous and static. I need a CHANGE!

- Vipassana has helped me view the third man's perspective of my life. I, sometimes, feel the difference.

- Shaken out of self-loved image...a new perspective, a new dimension to my existence makes me feel good and bad at the same time.

- Why do I keep making the same mistake all the time, over and over again?

- I love myself! And I know I am mean.

- Why do people around you have the capability/power to make or spoil your mood?

- I sometimes want to listen to sad songs :(

- Some frnds say that God deliberately didnt make me a man; I wud have definitely ended up spoiling lives of so many females :P

- I have learned to live alone.

- I am used to my friends...its not right!

- Sometimes, I feel I am fucked up in life, but most of the other times, I know I am blessed.

- I want to do so much, then why am not able to materialise it?

- More to come...

2009-04-20T01:01:00.000+05:30

WTF!

I want to write something but these bloody words are refusing to chain up together to form a sensible plot and convey my thoughts :-(

2009-04-10T19:10:00.000+05:30

Can't think of any...

Sometimes you think that you are the best person living on the face of this earth...you conform to all the laws of nature, are loved by every living or dead object, and this sweet little world can't do without you. Is this a human nature or am I the only one who lives in the dreamy world of self-appreciation?

I am left to think if it was really required? I got to know that there are people...many people...who just simply do not like me...I somehow do not feel like using the 'hate' word here but probably the world doesn't runs as per my convenience... And moreso, they have the balls to tell me this straight on my face, leaving me wondering if what I did, was really wrong! It is definitely difficult to ignore the times when your self-created 'good-positive-loving-famous' image breaks and you are forced to doubt yourself.

But as I write this...I somehow want to strenghten my self-belief...I know myself the best...do I care what poeple around me think? If I am truthful to myself, should this matter? I might have hurt them, but its upto me to decide if I wish to feel sad. I am no God and neither do I want to be!

2009-03-31T17:30:00.000+05:30

What??

Take it or leave is wat they say...but if I dont want to do either...then???

2009-03-03T12:39:00.001+05:30

Our Vaishno Devi Trip :)

Pracs has beautifully described our so very awaited Vaishno Devi trip in her blog...needless to say, with all the masala and mirch which were and were not a part of it :D.

This is how she goes:

For your convenience and mine…let me divide this post into two parts (Professional hazard of over three years of organizing content into logical chunks!) The first part is the Sequence of Events that Precede the Trip and the second part is well, The Trip itself. I thought I’d add another part devoted to Ms Malik, my companion…but I am sure that after reading this post, you will realize that madam definitely merits a whole post to herself! :D

For more, go to her blog and anjoy urself :)
http://hopes-prayers-and-dreams.blogspot.com/

2009-02-13T23:38:00.000+05:30

Love is in the Air...

Red roses...heart-shaped balloons...rum chocolates...pink ribbons...teddy bears...cute little cupids...beautiful cards...romantic tracks... diamonds...kisses...hugs...wow...it seems the entire air is singing love songs :))

2009-02-13T00:44:00.000+05:30

So this post is dedicated to all of them!

I like some people and I don't like some. I love some and I do not love some (not love is not hate). Its my choice afterall! Not that the story began by not liking them but it took that turn eventually and some poeple asked for it.

Rightnow, I can think of 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8.. of such people and the count is definitely more (..@..#..$..%..uff my memory). But sometimes, I honestly wonder, if I could be friends with them? Would things have been different...pleasantly? Afterall, life is too short to 'not like' anyone!

They say that we all are same just a different name
But then why don't I like you and you feel the same
You have friends who adore you
I have my share and they value me too
Some people speak great deal of you
Then why don't I see the same picture of you
You must be nice and great for your friends
Why haven't I seen similar trends
I don’t miss you but I think I miss not knowing you
And when your thought crosses my mind
I wonder if we would smile when we meet one more time

I guess you are not born to be friends with everyone in this world :-(

2009-02-10T19:03:00.000+05:30

Soul Searching?

I tell everyone that I do it all the time and thats how I know myself so well...but do I do it with absolute honesty?
Truth is that I prefer selective listening...listen to what I want to and ignore the rest that comes...from within?

I have realized that I am living this world of trance, where all my dreams are my best companions and all my wishes Gods first choices. In my world, I see the picture the way I want, enriched with bright colors, showcasing the beauty of life and nature. I believe so much in power of 'hope' that I don't think I want to come to terms with what life has to offer. I think I want to dictate the rules of life, which is rarely the case, unfortunately.

I wish to get out of the rosy frame where I live. I have forgotten the art of adjusting and compromising...with people, with life. I have become very stubborn and take all my friends and family for granted all the time. Living alone can be blamed for it but its taking me nowhere. Here I stand...with no clue of the next page of my life and unaware of the road that lies ahead..just praying that I choose the right turn and cope up with its realities without losing the smiling rainbow of my dreams.

2009-01-23T19:17:00.000+05:30

State of my Mind

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Any Interpretations?

2009-01-22T23:30:00.000+05:30

Direct from heart...

I haven't written it; so won't take any credit. Found it online and seemed like someone read me and wrote this :))...

I’m not a perfect girl... my hair doesn’t
always stay in place, and I spill a lot of
things. I’m pretty clumsy and sometimes
I have a broken heart.
my friends & I
sometimes fight and maybe some days
nothing goes right but when I think about
it and take a step back, I remember how
(amazing) life truly is and that maybe...
just maybe, I like being UNPERFECT!

I’m not the girl who runs up to you when
I see you & am not the girl who jumps at
every moment to talk to you; 'but I am the
girl who keeps it all inside'& regrets it
later. You still give me butterflies…

In my opinion... one of the worst feelings
in the world is wondering how things
could have - would have - should have been.

You will never know how it feels to have the one person
who means everything to you, makes you feel that you're nothing

She's not like most girls her age…
you'd think it would be her routine by now -
you'd think she wouldn't let it get to her -
but the truth is …
you're the only one who can break her now.

It’s like; we’re more than friends;
but less than lovers.

There’s no use stressing over something in the past, because there’s not a damn thing you can do to change it

At some point you have to realize he doesn’t care & you could be missing out on someone who does.

Anyone can be passionate...but only real lovers can be silly.

Everybody winds up kissing the wrong person goodnight.

2009-01-06T00:09:00.000+05:30

Confession!

Don't know if I would ever have the guts to say it on your face but I think I have to...somewhere, sometime...hope you'll read it someday...and try and understand.

I am SORRY!

For all the hopes and expectations I set for you..for bringing a change to your life, making you used to me and then suddenly pulling out the carpet from below your feet...I know I deserve no sympathy but I had my reasons...probably nothing logical and concrete but I could see it going no where...because I had changed, my feelings and my outlook too...don't know what went wrong but you are no where to be blamed...might sound foolish and false but I wish it never happened becoz it just ended up hurting you...I hope you won't hate me, if at all you do, in retrospect, when you think about it...rather I should hope that you will forget about it and cleanse every memory of me from your head and heart...I hope I don't matter to you a bit and hold no place in your life...I deserve it!

2008-12-17T19:21:00.000+05:30

This is the 'me'

When would I realize what I want from life??? I am sorry for myself for being so senseless and brainless at times or most of the times... why dont I wish to be happy with what I have...why do I always run behind something which has outrightly refused to come my way...In my false world of trance, why do I ignore good things that are waiting for me... should I really listen to my heart?? It bloody gives pain...to me and to people who want a chance to prove that I can be happy...why am I bloody so fucked up in making 'right' decisions in life???

2008-10-09T00:18:00.000+05:30

Nostalgia

The credit for this post goes entirely to Pri (http://lifeofpri.blogspot.com/), my blog friend, whose latest post inspired me to come up with this one. Her lovely post has revived quite a lot of my pleasant memories. I loved the idea of revisiting them today......

- I still remember the days when during my summer vacations, I used to visit Nani's place and she used to apply henna on my feet every single morning while I was asleep, to ensure that my skin remains cool and I dont suffer from skin allergies. And me being me, used to cry every single time and complain about it. Now I miss that pampering.

-Where are the days when I used to play Ghar-Ghar with my colony friends during the summer holidays in the staircase or the bulding corridors. The days when I used to be really happy making the Parle G biscuits as the menu for my doll's wedding.

- I want to eat the Aloo Parathas and Shakkar Paras that my Nani used to make especially for me.

- I treasure the school days when we used to get the annual results, hoping and knowing that I would get the top rank and be called upon the stage.

- The days back when my dad used to come back from office with toffees without fail and how we used to rush down to help him carry stuff. Sometimes we used to pretend that we are sleeping when he arrives and then the whole process of he waking us up and we pranking on him used to start.

- I wish I could see my Mom asking Rs 20 everyday from dad for her auto fare even now.

- Miss those days when mom used to lock us in the house during the day, while she was away for work and how I and my sis used to get scared each time the bell rang. We were given Rs 10 a day for staying alone at home and not at the creche.

- Now I laugh when I think of the days when my school bus used to take me back to school without dropping at the pick up stop in the absence of anyone from the creche. My teachers used to love watching me cry and telling me that I will be eaten by a mouse.

- The day when I asked my dad to buy us Maggi for the first time, which was for Rs 5 per pack, is still fresh in my mind.

I read this somewhere and fits perfectly with what I am feeling right now.

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death! Wats that, a bonus??

The life cycle is all backwards.You should die first and get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. When you get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension. Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your 'retirement'. You drink alcohol, party and get ready for High School. You go to primary school, become a kid; you play with no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back and spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap. And then finally you finish off as an orgasm!!"

I sincerely wish I could press the 'Rewind' button and live all those times again!

2008-10-08T20:13:00.000+05:30

Current State of My Mind

This is exactly what the current state of my mind is. Completely black and white, no other color...more black than white...

FYI: No plagi for a change...created this graphic right now...felt like scribbling hard on a sheet of paper and scribbled till the hand was tired...scribbled till the white space disappeared...and trust me, this is, till date, the best way to let go off your frustration...

Any psycho-analysis there :-)) ?

2008-08-11T01:04:00.000+05:30

08-08-08

"One year one month and one day" he said and reminded me of this and I wondered how could I not remember...

Exactly an year a month and a day before, Rajiv and I were generally chit chatting on the phone...I had recently moved to Hyderabad and into this PG from the company guest house and needless to say, was missing dilli terribly. And then suddenly the uniqueness of the date (07-07-07) struck us and we decided to remember this day forever for years to come...and to meet or atleast talk to each other on 10-10-10. Nothing special except for the mysterious sounding dates...

One of the thought that went behind this deal was the natural course of our lives to get lost in this rat race of earning a living and achieving our goals and along the way leaving some friends behind...['Tanha dil tanha safar, dhoonde tujhe phir kyu nazar...' by Shaan in the background :D]...
We meet different people everyday, network around, make new contacts...and in this process some become friends...stay with us for more time than we actually thought of and then a few disappear along the journey...so we thought that this triple date funda was reasonably a good way of keeping a track of each other's life and be friends forever.

Now the ironical part...in this one year one month and one day, his life has quite a no. of updates; from changing job to shifting to a new house, to getting a girl friend to searching a wife...and here I am...with absolutely no change...zero...zilch updates, news, or views...its all the same...its the same me, my life, my thoughts, my job, my company, my city, my PG, my friends, my life...isn't this called the height of 'monotonous living'...

And its high time to make a promise to myself...come 09-09-09 and I will be have a changed life...not that its not good right now...but for better...no clue of 'what' and 'how' part of the entire scenario but it will...

So heres me, presenting my mantra for 2008-09...
"Break the monotony. Do something strange and extravagant."

2008-06-23T22:55:00.000+05:30

Scared, I am

I haven't regretted any decision, any step, taken in life and I want to maintain this forever...
I hope I am not running behind an artificial illusion, leaving behind the pristine, pure truth. And if that is the case, I wish I don't ever get to face the reality...

2008-06-23T00:20:00.000+05:30

The Weak Moments
I am really strong...quite independent and responsible too...I can take care of myself and others too…I am very chirpy and hardly get emotional or gloomy…I know when to take the right decisions; for me, my career.. since am a fairly ambitious and career-oriented woman of today who knows what is the best for her and who doesn’t need a support to live her life…but…but…I am alive...and sometimes life reminds me of this.
I too have my weak moments…times when I am down and emotional…when I just want to cry and get all my solitude and sadness out; sadness, which is usually hidden under the veil of responsibility and independence, and the so called maturity...
I witnessed my weakest moment just two days ago[now I wonder, was it the Friday, the 13th effect after a week :P]…not that I haven’t had weak moments prior to this, but out of all, this surely tops the charts. I have either no reasons or a whole lot of reasons to substantiate it. And like every disease has a medicine, I had my support system with me to take me through it…my friends…friends whom I called up at 2 a.m. at night and cried to my best…level best, friends who didn’t ask me why am behaving in such a childish way…who let me be me…who don’t question me, my behavior, my senses, my logics…friends who didn’t ask me the reason for my last night’s behavior even the next day...they just asked me if am okay; no less, no more…they didn’t even tell me what all happened on the call, since I surely don’t remember everything I said…they trust me even in the weakest of my moments. What more can I ask for in life…can’t thank God enough for such a blessed life with my friends around.

2008-06-07T23:40:00.000+05:30

Me, the 'Not-So-Good' Daughter

I scream at her, don’t talk to her, ignore her calls, refuse to eat dinner to irritate her, make her feel guilty for smallest of her mistakes, bother her to the core by not paying any heed to her demands...And still, without fail, I always have to cry while leaving for Hyderabad :-/

I don't remember the last time I told her that I love her, neither have I ever thought of the need to do so...I can’t recall if I have ever bought her a present on the Mother’s Day; whereas I always make a note to buy them for my close friends. She waits for my call every morning and pings me if I don’t call up on time; but since I am extremely 'busy' with my work and my life, I don’t care to call her back , nor give her time she deserves and expects from her child...

I still remember the times when she has been the pillar of strength for me, for us...haven’t seen her losing her cool and positivism in life...she is the reason behind all the confidence and self respect that her kids own today...and she is the one who has helped us reach where we stand today. Her sole aim in life was and is to see us happy...She is the one who has helped me take all my decisions in life- from making subject choices in school, to career decisions...and today when I was discussing another important step I wish to take, she very casually and sweetly said, "Now start taking decisions for urself...till when would I help u doing that..."
Unexpectedly, it just hit me hard for once...can I ever think myself without her...would I ever be able to come up with a decision without her consultation...my so very existence is because of her and still I have the guts to chose to ignore her at times when my priority list places her at a later order…

I hope (this is what I am best at :P) to get enough opportunities now to prove how much I love and respect her…

2008-05-11T00:36:00.000+05:30

Confused!

I do my thing
and you do your thing.
I am not in this world
to live up to your expectations
And you are not in this world
to live up to mine.

You are you and I am I.
And if by chance
we find each other,it's beautiful,
If not, it can't be helped.

Should this be my relationship therapy???

{This is 'The Gestalt Prayer', Fritz Perls}

2008-05-10T23:55:00.000+05:30

My Name

Asha(Hope): "the general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled":-/

I never thot a name can influence your personality to such an extent...dont agree??
Am a living example...am always over optimistic and extra hopeful of things and situtions around me...btw I absolutely follow one rule in life...actually two...
1) When in doubt, do what your heart says.
2) Whatever happens, happens for the best.

But do I really wanna live upto my name?? errgghhh...honestly am not so sure though...lemme just wait for some more time and then may be I'll get an answer...see "hope" again :)
I just hope (shucks 'hope' again...its inherent babes) in cases where my wishes are not destined to be on the same side as my future, I lose 'hope' soon enough before wasting quarter of a lifetime 'hoping' for "it"...

2008-02-05T19:19:00.000+05:30

Typical Libran I Am

- Balanced
- Flirt
- Charming
- Diplomat
- Politically Correct Always
- Desire Popularity
- Love Art
- Neat
- Dress up for the Occassion
- Slight Perfectionist
- Narcisstic errr Egotistic
- Charitable
- Bossy at times...errr...'at times??'
- Attention to Detail
- Love Public Service
- Dislike Criticism and
- HIGHLY INDECISIVE...to the power of Infinity :-(

I just wonder whether I would ever be able to narrow down to 'The Guy' am gonna settle down with because when I am sure, life isnt :P ???

2008-01-16T22:44:00.000+05:30

Errr...Some Random Thoughts

Its the same old story
With me as the main character
And my idiocy the other
Whenever life has something to offer
Am not game for it
But when I am after something
Dare it come my way :)
However, thats fun
But in retrospect
Am happy with what I have
Even if somethings not here presently
I can call it mine
Apparently, only the tense has changed!

2008-01-16T22:31:00.000+05:30

Estoy Feliz

I am happy and gay (errr...I cant be the one u thinking about :P)... I thought why do I always get reminded of this space when I am sad and want to spill all my negative feelings somewhere? So this time I better knock its door when I am in a good mood... no reason as usual as...JLT (Just Like That)!

La vida es muy corta so better be happy all the time :)!

2007-12-28T13:38:00.001+05:30

No Title Whatsoever

Was trying to come up with a post for quite some time now but ALAS!!! There are about 5-7 drafts still in the edit mode...somehow not willing to take the heap from there to here...seem to be stuck there like a small kid...willing to play hide and seek and never come out in the light...so I let them be there...let them have fun and relax in the darkness...wish I could have that privilege of staying in some hidden, dark shed and never come out of it till the time I wish...

2007-12-28T13:31:00.000+05:30

Missing Home

I was missing home really badly yesterday...Nothing Happened...No Reason...Just wanted to run away from here and sit with Mom...just sit and do nothing, nothing at all!!!

2007-09-24T13:02:00.000+05:30

Motivation

Are you the one who needs some kind of motivation to take out some time to sit back and reflect on 'us', 'our society', or 'our country'?

Don’t think too much! WE all are the same. If not all, but majority of us do want to contribute to our society’s growth, be a part of our country’s development process, and get involved in some form of activity which can enable us to pay back to this society, which has given us enormous opportunities to be where we are today. However, we need to be shaken out of our daily routine lives to be able to think on the lines of being a responsible citizen and DO something. Yeah…even SRK now advocates for ‘doing’ something and leading the country!

I belong to the same genus of people who need an inspiration to think out of the box and begin doing something. And for me the stimulation came in the form of EHSAAS. What can be a better way to start with, than aiming to educate the children of underprivileged class of society, who would constitute the larger section of the ‘responsible citizens’ of tomorrow?

Sooner or later, we have to realize that it is ‘us’ who need to start thinking objectively and taking initiatives. No blame game can unravel the complexities and we shouldn’t even wait for someone else to initiate a beginning and clean our own house, our neighborhood, our country! It is ‘us’ who can and need to bring about a CHANGE.

I hope to involve and motivate all of you who sincerely want to be a part of the army of civilians who wants to bring about a positive change to our society, in whatever way it be. Don’t let the spirit die! Remember, it is vital to start thinking now. Actions will surely follow!

2007-09-10T17:31:00.001+05:30

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin
Available on the album Blue Moves

What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word

2007-09-04T16:03:00.000+05:30

Ramu ki Aag

I surely must have done some realy good deeds in my past life that am still alive...no am not talking about being saved from the bomb blasts that happened in Hyderabad...but about still managing to be alive after watching Ramu's AAG...

Ramu ki AAG ne humko jala hi diya hota, bas hamare achche karmo ki wajah se hum aaj aapke saamne sahi salaamat hain :P

An absolute movie buff like me hardly dislikes any movie...my idea of a good weekend is to go for any movie...mind you any...but this ramu ki aag...am surprised how am still alive although it wasnt any less than committing suicide...after a long saturday (long--coz I was in office for 6 hours), I decided to venture out to find tickets for the so-called 'fundoo' remake of the age-old blockbuster Sholay, RGV's Aag...and what a luck...i got the tickets...that too very easily, without booking them a week ago and in a descent theatre...but whats waiting in there, I could have never guessed...the theatre was jam packed with all fools, like me...

Now a bit about the movie:

All the characters were total waste n why the hell all of them...esp mr. Big B had to overact to the extent that he never seemed to be the negative character but a complete joker (on top of it, the name Babban, suits a character like Rajpal Yadav more than Gabbar’s counterpart); his weird expressions were rather funny than scary... infact now mothers would tell their children that better get ready for a sweet dreamy sleep coz Babban uncle would come and make you laugh with his comic acts...I dont understand why all the other actors like Ajay Devgan and Sushmita Sen wanted to be a part of this blockbuster flop show where they just had to over-react on every dialog and underact for every little scene, respectively, that they had in the movie...I still dont know who played Jay's character and why was Ghungroo and Laila (her auto)in the movie, even Dhanno cant explain...for Sush...it was absolutely clear that she isnt getting work nowadays...n the Telugu superstars...are they so velle to act in this super bakwaas bollywood flick...alltogether it was disastrous and pathetic...sorry, actually disastrous and pathetic would be an understatement!

2007-09-03T16:07:00.000+05:30

Reaction??

What do people do when they dont know the right reaction to a situation? How do you react to situations wherein there is absolutely no natural course of thoughts flowing in your mind?

I don’t know how should I react to this...to these stupid circumstances...I have never been so desperate in my life but now...look at me...why the hell am ruled by my heart??? Where is all my ego and self-respect gone??? Why the head is not fighting to have an upper-hand over my thought process? The fact that am not feeling mad at this is making me all the more uncomfortable...wish could get out of this...might not be impossible, but for sure, not easy at all!!!

2007-08-24T18:33:00.000+05:30

I am Blessed

Are you blessed? Like I am?

Blessed with friends:-)? Nothing can be more worthful in life than to have people around you whom you can call FRIENDS, whom you trust, whom u call up to just shout at them and to bitch about someone else ;-) or dont call up for months and then blast each other off for not keeping in touch...ask for their shoulders to cry knowing that ur need for an ear is worth spoiling their mood...whom you take for granted at any hour of the day at any point of time in your life...hug them in front of the world without any apprehensions, scold them for any of their mistakes and then ensure they don't repeat it again...feel disgusted for their failure...and overjoyed for their success and occasions of happiness in their lives...tell them about all the silly things that you have done without feeling embarrased...ask for...infact demand their help without categorising them as 'favors' that need to be returned...Have u ever felt liking thanking God for making u meet all such wonderful people in life? I have and would always :-)!

Thanks to all the awesome ppl. who have come into my life as 'friends', making me the person I am!

2007-08-07T18:27:00.001+05:30

Hey Wait!!!

Hey look
I am running fast
On these straight and curvy roads
And what
You walking even faster

Wait a bit
I’ll not take long
At least explain
What’s stopping you
From stopping by

I need your company
Can’t walk alone anymore
All day long
I get tired
But why do I wait
When I know u would not come!!!

2007-07-23T16:11:00.000+05:30

Fog Water Trip

This was the 1st trip after comimng to Hyderabad, a short 1-day though but amazingly exciting one...I joined a group of friends who had met each other and had formed a gang at the time of their joining...similarly as I had made a gang during NIIT SEED Boot Camp time :-)) [Miss u guys]...And they happily and whole-heartedly welcomed us (me n Joyita)...

P.S.: I don't know how to rotate this pic :P!

We went to Nagarjuna Sagar Dam and the waterfalls which are about 10 Kms away from the Dam...had hired a sumo so had all the luxury to stop the vehicle at any dhaba...dhabha??? Wheres the dhaba?? There wasnt a single eating joint...not even South Indian dhabha on the way, so forget about any North Indian joint...this is so unlikely N.Indian and my usual trips from Delhi..so all of us were almost famished by the time we reached the dam after 3 hrs of journey...but wat an awesome view as soon as we reached the place...

We could feel the little droplets of water from the very distant itself...wish all the lock gates were open...but since the gates were open, we were not allowed to go to the nuseum which is accessible only via a boat...wow...but bad luck...newaz then moving on to the waterfalls...they were so pure and so fresh...i and Meghna managed to go upto the foot of the waterfalls...

And then the masti continued..we went to the crocodile breeding area and literally took bath there...no am not kidding...have a look...

Had a lot of masti wid my new set of frens...and all my frns back in Delhi..I miss u[:-)]!

2007-07-20T16:46:00.001+05:30

Crap Crap

Why am I feeling so madly disgusted? Does my heart always demands the right thing? The thing which is right for me? Or its just that momentary demand which would lapse with time? Am feeling so bloody bugged off with things now...there has to be some trust around to be able to sustain and maintain things...build relationships... foster love...but thats the problem...Wheres trust? Wheres faith? Importantly Wheres LOVE??

I better get back to reality...high time now...come back to senses, take things as they are and don't build high hopes on the shattered ashes around...things would not work out on their own, u gotta put in a lot of effort and even if that not helping, then leave them as they are...he will take care of them...if they are meant to be the way I want to be and if thats wat is meant to happen, then lets just wait for them to take their natural course...otherwise I know...whatever will happen, will happen for the best!!!

2007-07-02T22:30:00.000+05:30

Hyderabad Blues

Ufff I still don’t believe that am finally here…away from home, away from family, away from mummy…away from everybody…and why?? “For a bright career”… is the only and most reasonable reply…this means that career is the priority? And why not…after all what else is on the cards…who knows where I might end up…so what is in my hands is my future…my career…which can surely make or break me, my life…but am I such a career-oriented woman who needs to take up a job leaving the home?? Or am I ready to let go a good career opportunity for a stable, peaceful family life?? Can I possibly answer this tricky question now? Right now the best thing is to adjust to the new surroundings, new ppl, and new life…am sure I have taken the right decision…decision to opt for my career rather than getting entangled in the emotional boundaries and ignore the growth in terms of a better role money and learning opportunities…and I know it will pay later…it will have to…!!!

2007-05-07T15:41:00.000+05:30

Who am I?

"Tell me something about urself" - the ice-breaker question in most conversations!

My instant response..."Why the hell should I describe myself to you?"

But wat a dumb question is it?? Actually...how should I describe myself...is a painful question? How am I? Wat am I? Do I know myself well enough to be able to describe 'me' for you? Its a difficult question n ofcourse has a complex reply to it.

That's the way I am...
Cute, charming, and straightforward
Mature, responsible but childish and easy-going
Naughty, noisy but calm and quiet
Determined, dominating but submissive and patient
Confident, practical but indecisive and hesistant
Poilte but rude
Ambitious but lazy
Smart but nerd
Honest but liar
Intelligent but idiot
Interesting but boring
Loving but ignorer
I guess...
This is the way I am...

How about calling it a 'Contradictory Story'?

2007-04-06T18:32:00.000+05:30

Innocently Cute!
Wats the cutest thing u have evr seen?? Or do u remember anything which brought that innocent smile on ur face?

A few days back I saw two kids on the side of the road...a girl n a boy...3-5 yrs old...dressed in (not-so-white) 'baniyans' and earthy 'nikkars'...probably brother and sisters...or may be not...but that aside...they were trying to cross the road along with a stray dog...actually no...both of them were holding one ear each of the dog and were helping it cross the road :-))... it was so sweet that I just couldnt stop myself smiling over it...

2007-04-06T13:31:00.000+05:30

Song or the Person??

Its time to update this section...and I slept thinking of it ystrday...a lotsa things were in my mind but somehow wen wanted to write...didnt have a comp or pen n paper in near vicinity...and wen had their access...mind was somewhr else...n I dont knw why but its been happening for quite sometime now...

BTW have u ever thot that a lot of times widout realizing, we tend to relate a particular song to a person?? or an event?? And sometimes wen u hear even the slightest tune of the song coming from a far distant land, the image of the person suddenly pops up in ur mind bringing about that sudden nostalgic feeling...n this happens even if theres an absence of any striking co-relation between the song and the person...

At that point of time, do u listen to the song or think about the person?? Thinking muscles tickled?? Lemme know if that happens with u as well!

2007-03-14T14:46:00.001+05:30

I am too complicated....

I am too complicated. Well...dont you think so? Or may be all of us are...I keep on changing with so much damn velocity...the fundas in which I used to believe so much at some point of time in my life, now don't really hold much importance for me...those thoughts seem to have become completely abnoxious now...things widout which I could not have survived, at least thats how I used to think, now don't hold much relevance...am I the only one whos so dynamic in nature or all of us are? Infact...people...they also come and go...they leave even if I don't wish them to...even if I try to stop them, they seem to be moving away...people who I think are an important part of my being...they are getting distant...I wish it was easy to say things in simple terms...explain the things the way they are...wish people are ready to understand and sympathize...no actually empathize...but watever the case be...I am changing...my feelings are changing...I no more feel the same love, care, warmth anymore...is it my fault? I am not the one to be blamed...atleast not in entirety...people...who were close to me...yes, they have forced me to change...the situations have changed...everythings changed!
Is it normal? Am I normal? Does everyones' feelings change, the way mine?

The only constant thing is Change.

2007-03-05T15:15:00.000+05:30

Me Writing ??

U knw wat…. I had never ever thot i cud write a poem or even an article so to say...but leaving everything aside, my work…my professional lifes entirely based on my writing skills…and to add on the spice and color…see am writing poems and write-ups for my own blog…..it might not seem so out of the place or surpring to you but its true…I used to sincerely admire ppl. who had the talent to write well and simultaneously also secretly used to wonder if I wud ever be able to work on my pencil skills….but here I am..though it might not be a too polished up writing but its, surely, is a great achievement for me and my self confidence :)...finally all depends on ur will to work towards it with all the hardwork you can put in but definitely the stimulus is provided by ur will power.

2007-03-02T16:10:00.000+05:30

LIFE

Life’s a song
Strike the right note to never be wrong
Balance your head and heart always
Don’t just follow what the world says

Life’s beautiful as a pearl in the shell
Not always heaven, but often its hell
Life’s actually not a bed of roses
Has all kinds of emotions as in poems and proses

Life’s a mystery
Mostly solves when u become history
Course of its journey, nobody knows
It’s difficult to know where to come and where to go

Life’s pure as a drop of dew
But it’s appreciated by only a few
Believe me, its lucky to have this gift of life
Value it; nothing can match its real price.

So guyz…
Live Life Kingsize :)

2007-02-23T14:04:00.000+05:30

For me

Alone, at a cafe
a cup of coffee in my hand
Couples, hearts, balloons
Valentine's Day across the land
And I think of the cup of coffee
you and I never had
and that you still owe me a meeting
is a thought that makes me glad
So I sit here wondering
of the conversation we'd share
whispering sweet nothings
not really going anywhere
My declarations of undying love
your admonitions of restraint
the trips we would embark upon
the idyllic canvasses we'd paint
And in that moment of epiphany
I realise that this is true
That the tripod of my life
is poetry, coffee and you.

2007-02-22T17:53:00.000+05:30

Reply to 'finally did it:)'

He he..wat reply can it possibly be...dont expect too much...nothings happened, nothings changed...alls the same....from where I started....infact i dont even see things moving in the "right" direction...!!!
Why does it always happen--when we dont want to look for other options...they bang us right on the head over and over again??? We just get stuck to one, hoping that someday we might achieve it...things might change in our favor...but does it actually happen?? Should I try and move on in life or hope for 'him' to understand things....understand me?

2007-02-05T15:13:00.000+05:30

Girl Bonding

I always used to think that girls can't be my "good" frnds......or 2 girls can't ever be "best" frnds, if I may say so...but i was so wrong
:-)...yup I am happy about this fact......NIIT has given me so ...so many lifelong friends....and yep....female friends as well....

Till date, whichever girl has been my 'good' friend has always been a lil selfish in some or the other way.....some of them being quite close:( ......anywaz...now I think that the way a woman understands another, a man can't...... though my best friend is a guy, still i think that a girl can actually empathize with me whereas a guy can only sympathise.....i need not say much to my female friends and they understand....on the contrary, I have to explain all the stuff in detail and then hope for some sympathy in case of guys......."Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" says that women believe in sharing which men don't....so I feel quite relieved having some women friends in my life .....
Am really thankful to God for making me meet some wonderful people, who have touched my life in some or the other way.....!

2007-01-27T01:06:00.000+05:30

For Ranit......

I can see the sun shining over my head
I can see the stars lighting my bed
I can feel the wind dancing with the flow
And I can see U giving me the energy to glow

Just as the darkness of dawn and the beauty of sunrise,
Show us the way from darkness to light
Your inspiring presence and wonderful charisma
Adds the spice to this beautiful life

The kindness you shower, the love you spread
That beautiful smile can revive the dead
Those lovely coffee breaks with honest advice
Gives me the strength to grow wise

I want to thank you
For always being by my side
To your rule I want to abide
Believe me,
U are the BEST friend, philosopher and guide

2007-01-04T12:09:00.000+05:30

Time...

We might not meet, we might not chat,
But we are friends, better don't forget that...
Times would go passing by,
Changes would happen with U and I,
Our lives destiny would shape,
As with time, progress we make.
Distance would take us away by miles,
We might not even see each other’s smiles.
We might not help each other;
But still let not our friendship wither...
The magic of friendship would call me
And I would miss you then;
Thinking...together, we would be when...

(Anonymous)

2006-10-04T12:03:00.000+05:30

finally did it:)

okie.....today I finally told him....it has been long since i wanted to let him know or want to hear it from him......par wat luck......its me always who has to be the brave one and say it all.....although not in direct terms but yup the thought was very clear....he... as usual tried not understanding it and sounded confused but m feeling so much lighter n surprisingly confident:).....now m desperately waiting for his response......lets c wats next in line for me!!!